just shutup.
eunicee jotted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 @ 8:58 PM
today's a rather low day. i was angry and i am still very angry. if angry's even the right word.
i got back my term results today and they aren't very ideal. hahaa yeahh i got an E for math. it was disappointing but i suppose i didn't study hard enough so there's nothing to be upset about. but what made me so depressed or irritated and even pissed off was something else.
i finally found out the ultimate hate that i have. i hate this:
people can't stop saying "eunice you're so smart, you're such a genius" "eunice you sure get A" "i bet you'll get an A and i'll get some shitty grade" "aiyah eunice you don't have to study" "i feel so inferior to you" "stop complaining you already have two As". it's not like i'm not grateful to God for the results i already have. yes i am disappointed. but that's because of my high expectations of myself and the inability to meet them. if you can have expectations for yourself, why can't i? and i find it really pathetic when people say i'm smart enough and they're stupid and they are so much worse off than me and guess what? they get higher for their results. i think that's hypocritical? if that's a suitable word to use. maybe even sarcastic. it's perfectly fine if they get better results than me, it doesn't matter. what matters is that they are such pissoffs. i HATE IT. i now understand why joanna used to hate pple saying she's so smart. ughh such a pissoff. it made me so angsty till i wanted to cry. but i won't. not over such stupid things. why is it that everytime i get a better grade, they just won't stop bitching me? why don't you just look at my grades and say oh, well done! then SHUTUP AFTER THAT? come on, if i get good grades, so just accept it and don't comment any further. if i don't, then just shutup also. in any case, just shutup. it's not like you don't get good grades. it's not like grades are so majorly important, even though they are. gradesgradesgrades. whateverr.
so let me say this really clear.
stop saying i'm a smart ass.
stop saying i'm SOOO good.
stop saying i'll get an A.
stop saying i'll be the top.
stop saying i'm such a genius.
stop saying i don't need to study.
stop saying i will do well and you will do badly.
just shutup. really.
eunicee*
