just shutup.
eunicee jotted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 @ 8:58 PM
today's a rather low day. i was angry and i am still very angry. if angry's even the right word.
i got back my term results today and they aren't very ideal. hahaa yeahh i got an E for math. it was disappointing but i suppose i didn't study hard enough so there's nothing to be upset about. but what made me so depressed or irritated and even pissed off was something else.
i finally found out the ultimate hate that i have. i hate this:
people can't stop saying "eunice you're so smart, you're such a genius" "eunice you sure get A" "i bet you'll get an A and i'll get some shitty grade" "aiyah eunice you don't have to study" "i feel so inferior to you" "stop complaining you already have two As". it's not like i'm not grateful to God for the results i already have. yes i am disappointed. but that's because of my high expectations of myself and the inability to meet them. if you can have expectations for yourself, why can't i? and i find it really pathetic when people say i'm smart enough and they're stupid and they are so much worse off than me and guess what? they get higher for their results. i think that's hypocritical? if that's a suitable word to use. maybe even sarcastic. it's perfectly fine if they get better results than me, it doesn't matter. what matters is that they are such pissoffs. i HATE IT. i now understand why joanna used to hate pple saying she's so smart. ughh such a pissoff. it made me so angsty till i wanted to cry. but i won't. not over such stupid things. why is it that everytime i get a better grade, they just won't stop bitching me? why don't you just look at my grades and say oh, well done! then SHUTUP AFTER THAT? come on, if i get good grades, so just accept it and don't comment any further. if i don't, then just shutup also. in any case, just shutup. it's not like you don't get good grades. it's not like grades are so majorly important, even though they are. gradesgradesgrades. whateverr.
so let me say this really clear.
stop saying i'm a smart ass.
stop saying i'm SOOO good.
stop saying i'll get an A.
stop saying i'll be the top.
stop saying i'm such a genius.
stop saying i don't need to study.
stop saying i will do well and you will do badly.
just shutup. really.
eunicee*
reflections.
eunicee jotted on Sunday, March 26, 2006 @ 8:46 PM
new photos are up! acjc band from #57 onwards and eunice's family #90 onwards.
percussion had a gathering at lynn's house last night. everyone except angela and victoria came, and brendan did the cooking. surprisingly, yes. it was fun, playing taboo and watching them do stupid things. and brendan kept going on about sexual connotations, which made the guys laugh alot but it was getting too much for me. well anw, we had fun after a whole long day of band. we're playing turandot and movement for rosa for the sydney competition and i hope we do really well. not like muse.
yeahh another week passed. it's week two of school term now and yes! no more exams from now till prelims! hahaha. i actually don't want this year to end. so much things that'll come along once i graduate from jc. but time'll still pass anw.
eunicee*
picturess.
eunicee jotted on Friday, March 24, 2006 @ 10:23 PM
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i don't want band to start all overr again.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i want free saturdays.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
angst. ughh. things that i have to do.
nuunuu enjoying luz's sayang.
nuunuu so cutee.
reading empire of the sun while my dentist works on other pplee. i can't seem to flip the picture 90 degrees though. anw, artsy shot lahh.
ahh. sighh. howw irritating. pissy.
eunicee*
terms are overr.
eunicee jotted on Thursday, March 23, 2006 @ 7:50 PM
ahh! terms are finally over. they seem to drag over so long a period. i think a's will be worse. ughh. anw, math wasn't good today. ohdearr anw it's over. i wonder what're my results. sighh! nvm about that for now!
let me thinkk. nothing new has happened over the past week. really. termstermsterms. so i don't really have anything to talk about here. let me post a happy picture thenn. makes everyone happy.
well, may you all have a pleasant coming weekend. life never stops for a moment to rest. i want to rest.
eunicee*
janice jotted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 @ 4:25 PM
i've boldly asked for forgiveness.
lets wait in anticipation for his reply...
janice
sigh
janice jotted on @ 2:14 PM
i am feeling very guilty. i recalled saying something really unnecessary and hurtful to my fren during our collection of A level results. i mean it just blurted out. and i couldnt collect it back.
this fren of mine is recognised by everyone to be super intelligent. but at every major exams, he didnt seem to perform up to expectation. thats the case for his A levels as well.
and i said: maybe God is saying you are too proud.
well... one reason i said that was cos sometimes he really is. but i shouldnt have said that, considering that he should be under alot of pressure and also his own disappointment in His own results. sigh...
thats why i say im getting dumber and dumber, doing the sillest thing ever possible.
God forgive me.
undivided attention
eunicee jotted on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 @ 9:34 PM
undivided attention.
i don't like divided attention. makes me sound like i'm attention deficit.
i'm sure God doesn't like divided attention too.
eunicee*
God
janice jotted on @ 7:16 PM
why do i need a God?
i want to enjoy life as much as i want...
i like my life the way it is. i can do what i want without any restrictions and i can handle things on my own.
i dont believe that there is only one God.
are these your thoughts?
i want to enjoy life as much as i want...
i like my life the way it is. i can do what i want without any restrictions and i can handle things on my own.
i dont believe that there is only one God.
are these your thoughts?
janice jotted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 @ 12:21 AM
hey... if your reading this, u are specially invited to ...
THE DEPTH OF OUR FATHER'S LOVE
this coming easter, 15th April 2006 Saturday
3.00pm to 6.30pm
at German Center, Berlin Room.
what Christ did for us on the cross, so that we can come back to our Father in heaven, show how much God love us.
find out more about this unconditional love this easter day with youth fusion!
innocence.
eunicee jotted on Monday, March 13, 2006 @ 3:58 PM
for our innocence is lost..
eunicee*
how to love my daddy.
Becky jotted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 @ 12:10 AM
It happened yesterday. I went out wif my colleague till late night, then my daddy called to ask me where am i. Without saying much, he asked me to get home immediately. I was really fed up at that point of time. But God sent me a nice taxi driver who teach me how to love my daddy even more.
He started asking bout my day and he shared about his experience wif her daughter to me. He told me that he love her daughter more than anybody in the world. I told him about my daddy, and he assured me that what my daddy did was for my good. He said more but dun want to eleborate. That was the time that made me realised that he have done alot for me. He was the one that drives me home from work everytime when i needed to whether izzit 1am, 2am, he will do it. He is the one that stand up up for me when i got bullied at work. And of course he raised me up. Hehe. I think i should not complain about things that i dun have but to learn to appreciate wat i have. I thank God for sending me, this taxi driver who taught me alot.
I wrote this in my journal! So Janice, dun worry about anything else but the movie treat ok?! Muackz*
With Love,
Becky
new photos.
eunicee jotted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 @ 4:58 PM
new photos up! sdthree from #153 onwards. acjcband
wow sorry for this really late picture posting! haha. anw anw! pictures from funorama, to founder's day and to muse! photoengraved memories!
eunicee*
updates.
eunicee jotted on Friday, March 10, 2006 @ 8:29 PM
hello!
it's been a long time since anyone of us blogged. busybusy. well anw, updating time.
yes rebecca's forever busy! with her work and school, the week just drones on. i hope for her, strength, determination and focus.
janice. she's attached to our church now, since serve prog has ended. busy being assistant cell leader and doing admin stuff! i hope for her, faith, hope and wisdom.
me. ahh muse was okay for the band but it was bad for me. i don't feel like talking about it anymoree. term exams are here! i hope for me, strength, concentration, and love.
finally, i hope all of you are doing well! enjoy!
eunicee*
a burden.
eunicee jotted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 @ 11:09 PM
a stone. hung around the centre.
it's heavy.
weighing. pulling. dragging.
the stone is intangible. she can hardly comprehend.
it sinks. uncontrollably.
and remains in the depths.
her stone has a master. the master of envy,
the master of insecurity, the master of paranoia.
the master of the name she hears.
all it just needs is a split second to fabricate--
the master, the servant, and the attached,
the remark, the innoncent, and the unconcerned.
obsessive compulsive disorder.
why are you so abstract. i can hardly understand you.
eunicee*
(i purposely left it authorless.)
eunicee jotted on Wednesday, March 01, 2006 @ 8:35 PM
from school to changi.
from changi to aeroplanes.
from aeroplanes to viewing mall.
from viewing mall to discourse.
from discourse to dreams.
from dreams to hopes.
from hopes to reality.
from reality to you.
from you to me.
from me to us.
from us to God.
